The BritishV8 Pub

OK so here’s the background and a first story. My Dad bought my Sprite in 1967. He had a health problem in 1971 that affected his speech, and he always called it “the Austin” from that point on. So that’s how I refer to it.

My senior year of high school, I was pestering him to license it. But trouble was, it would only run for about 10 minutes on four cylinders, then cut out to two. We had a dairy farm, and I used to start it up and drive it out on the field roads, and it would cut out every time. Dad said if I could get it running, he’d license it. Decent motivation for a kid who knew nothing about British cars. All I had was a Clymer manual. But I did figure out (as I recall 53 years later) that one of the needles in an SU carb float bowl was sticking after the engine got warm. All I did was shave a little off of four(?) plastic fins on the float needle. Or something like that. Anyway, it ran fine after that.

Our family never took many pictures, so I don’t have a picture of the Austin from ’72. But just picture a Bugeye in 66 Corvette rally red (painted by the previous owner).

I remember driving it to my high school graduation.. That summer after, I was heading on a country road to the local village pub one night about 10pm. (Remember back when your evening out started at about 10?) I was marveling at how bright the moon was. "It's so bright I bet I could drive with no headlights." Not being satisfied with just a hypothesis, I had to try it - at 60 mph. Sure enough, I could easily make out the highway and enough detail ... of things close up. After a couple of miles, suddenly out of the gloom was this... large shape. I cut left, right and was past it instantly. It was so close I couldn't tell if I was going to hit it or not until I was past it. Switched on the lights, stopped and went back to see what the hell it was. It was an 800lb sow just standing there. Picture hitting that with the Austin. It would have ended up in the front seat with me. In the thousands of times previously that I had passed that farm, I had never once seen one of that farmer's pigs out of its pen. Bad timing, but good reflexes.

So that’s my first story. It’s also one of a dozen (the others not involving the Austin) in an anthology I’ve written titled “The Top Twelve Reasons I should be Blind, Dead, or Paralyzed.” Growing up on a farm circa 1970 was a rich experience.

Delightful story. Thank you for sharing it, John.

Love it. Maybe we should start a series...
I like your anthology title. Could we steal it to use it here for a sticky thread perhaps? (just a thought)

Jim



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 10/13/2025 09:01AM by BlownMGB-V8.

Sure, you could put a sticky up and ask for episodes that involve British cars. I don't have any more myself. The other eleven were near misses when running farm equipment, and various youthful indiscretions involving high speeds in American cars, too much alcohol, and other Darwin award attempts. But I'm sure there are at least some others' Brit car stories out there to be told. There may be some hesitancy to tell them though because some will display abject stupidity. Hey, no shaming or judgement here. I've done my share of them, that's why I have at least eleven more.

I'll see what Carl thinks of the idea. I have a few myself. Some of those youthful misadventures are downright hilarious and many were that way at the time. I don't see why it all has to be British car related.

Jim

Craziest thing ever just happened tonight. 15 minutes ago. On my carport.

I was laying on the ground next to my MG (“Bonnie”), with my arm up under her, measuring driveshaft angle… which you really need to do with tires on the ground of course. Coming from behind me, a skunk ran right past me, brushing along my arm as it passed, and between my arm and the car’s rear tire, crossing under my car. Real quick. Remarkably, it didn’t stink noticeably. Still can’t believe it. But it happened. And it got away so quickly I didn’t get a second glimpse of it. And I know you might think it was a cat… but I’m pretty sure it really was a skunk because I saw the stripe for certain and it moved like a skunk. And we have skunks in my neighborhood because my neighbor feeds them.

And I know you’re wondering: the crankshaft angle measures 2.7 degrees uphill, according to my digital angle gauge. The pinion angle measures 3.4 degrees uphill, and the prop shaft angle measures 5.4 degrees uphill, so the first operating angle is 2.7 degrees and the second operating angle is 2 degrees and THAT means everything is wonderful in spectacular, peaceful Portland tonight because it’s within Dana Spicer recommendations. On the first try. I’ll have more to say about my suspension project soon. But not yet.

I guess those skunks don't stink noticeably unless provoked.

There was a time where that was kind of the cutoff standard as to whether to ask a girl out or not. That was around the same time as the aforementioned hog incident.